Who Are You, Really?

I have heard countless stories of women who feel that they finally discovered who they really were after a break up.  Or after the loss of a job.  Or after their kids left home.  I don’t have to go very far to hear one of these stories because it is also my story.

Why is that?

Why is it so difficult for a woman to be who she really is within the confines of a relationship? Should I use the word “confines”?  It makes the relationship sound so restricting – like bondage.  Sounds Freudian to me.

Anyway, I’m sure there are plenty of reasons but one of the thoughts that I had concerning the subject is that while we are in the relationship we are so busy making sure our partner’s needs are met that we completely forget about our own needs.  We take on total responsibility for the other person’s happiness.  Or is it just me?

In my last relationship, which ended in 2010, I never did anything that I thought conflicted with what my S/O was doing.  Granted, he was “special” (and not in a good way) and I spent most of my time on eggshells.  I remember once going to a yoga class early on a Saturday morning and afterward I had to spend a significant amount of time explaining why.  It was exhausting and I found it much easier to just join him in his activities instead of having my own.

I have one word for that:  Whack. 

After finally extricating myself from that whackness, I spent many months alone trying to figure out what it was that I wanted to do.  Who was I if I wasn’t the musician’s girlfriend? I was so depressed because I felt like I had no idea who the hell I was.  How did I let this happen?

That all changed in 2011.  That was the year I began running for exercise.  I joined BGR! and eventually ran my first 5k

I look at this cup now and I realize that this was the beginning of me finding out who I am, really.  Since then I’ve run several other races, I began strength training, competed in figure competitions, became a certified fitness trainer and opened my own business.

The best is yet to come.

In 2015 I plan to work my business full-time, get certified as a Nutrition Specialist, get a certificate in Health Coaching and become a Professional Figure Competitor.

I have a lot going on and I can’t remember a time when I was happier.  I know who I am and the direction that I am going in is crystal clear.  What could be better than that?