Sunday, June 19, 2016


have you ever read love poems?
I used to really enjoy reading love poems but I haven’t in a long time
I didn’t stop enjoying it, I just stopped reading them
Today I am reading love poems
And searching for romantic movies to watch
Because I cannot remember what it feels like to fall in love
I’m hoping these words on a page
Or images on a screen
will spark some kind of memory
Of what it was like
To fall in love
Head over heels
Make stupid decisions
See no one but him
Kind of love
You know the kind of love I’m talking about
I remember being in love
I don’t remember falling in love
It’s odd how you can forget something that at one time was all-consuming
It’s also odd how you can love someone one day and then not love them the next
Where does the love go?
I settled on “Larry Crowne”
Not really romantic
Not really a love story
But it’s cute
Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks are an unlikely pair
Back to the poetry
This is a poem that I sent to someone
Back when I remembered
What falling in love felt like:

                There can be no happiness greater than I enjoyed this afternoon with you, clasped in your arms, your voice mingling with mine, your eyes in mine, your heart upon my heart, our very souls welded together.  For me there is no man on this earth but you. The others I perceive only through your love.  I enjoy nothing without you.  You are the prism through which the sunshine, the green landscape, and life itself, appear to me … I need your kisses upon my lips, your love in my soul.

This was actually a note written to Victor Hugo from Juliette Drouet and the words melt my heart. 
I don’t ever recall receiving poetry from someone who loved me
I did however receive a poem from a perfect stranger
It was back in 1997
Today, he would be considered a stalker
Back then, I found it quite romantic

                You-Venus eclipsing the sun
                So too your beauty eclipses
                My reason
                And I am pushed
                To awkward action
                Smile across my way
                And reassure my soul
                For your smile contains my hope
                Your frown the night
                That breaks it
                Let me hold your gaze
                Even if not your hand
                So flower-filled fantasies
                Will float me on a sea of dreams
                As I sleep tonight

I never saw that poet again
But I held on to the poem for 19 years
That’s longer than both my marriages put together
The movie is ending
And I’m sleepy
I’m no closer to remembering the details of falling in love

Maybe tomorrow