love

have you ever read love poems?

I used to really enjoy reading love poems but I haven’t in a long time

I didn’t stop enjoying it, I just stopped reading them

Today I am reading love poems

And searching for romantic movies to watch

Because I cannot remember what it feels like to fall in love

I’m hoping these words on a page

Or images on a screen

will spark some kind of memory

Of what it was like

To fall in love

Head over heels

Make stupid decisions

See no one but him

Kind of love

You know the kind of love I’m talking about

I remember being in love

I don’t remember falling in love

It’s odd how you can forget something that at one time was all-consuming

It’s also odd how you can love someone one day and then not love them the next

Where does the love go?

I settled on “Larry Crowne”

Not really romantic

Not really a love story

But it’s cute

Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks are an unlikely pair

Back to the poetry

This is a poem that I sent to someone

Back when I remembered

What falling in love felt like:

                There can be no happiness greater than I enjoyed this afternoon with you, clasped in your arms, your voice mingling with mine, your eyes in mine, your heart upon my heart, our very souls welded together.  For me there is no man on this earth but you. The others I perceive only through your love.  I enjoy nothing without you.  You are the prism through which the sunshine, the green landscape, and life itself, appear to me … I need your kisses upon my lips, your love in my soul.

This was actually a note written to Victor Hugo from Juliette Drouet and the words melt my heart. 

All-consuming

Powerful

I don’t ever recall receiving poetry from someone who loved me

I did however receive a poem from a perfect stranger

It was back in 1997

Today, he would be considered a stalker

Back then, I found it quite romantic

                You-Venus eclipsing the sun

                So too your beauty eclipses

                My reason

                And I am pushed

                To awkward action

                Smile across my way

                And reassure my soul

                For your smile contains my hope

                Your frown the night

                That breaks it

                Let me hold your gaze

                Even if not your hand

                So flower-filled fantasies

                Will float me on a sea of dreams

                As I sleep tonight

I never saw that poet again

But I held on to the poem for 19 years

That’s longer than both my marriages put together

The movie is ending

And I’m sleepy

I’m no closer to remembering the details of falling in love

Maybe tomorrow