Tuesday, April 8, 2008

It Is What It Is

It is what it is.

Know that for me, this is not a statement of indifference but of acceptance. In the recent past I have made more of an effort to actually accept certain unpleasant situations instead of fighting against them. Especially if it is a situation that is beyond my control. I'm learning that fighting against something only makes that something stronger. And me, subsequently, weaker. I'm done. It is what it is.

My teenagers don't want to have anything to do with me. They would notice if I weren't here but for the most part they could care less. I accept the fact that they are no longer infants, toddlers or young children. They have their own opinions and their own lives. I get it. I also know that one day they will come back to me. But for now ... it is what it is. My life will will take on a more peaceful quality if I stop trying to force them to ... I don't even know what. It's not that I don't care because I do but I accept the fact that they are getting older and are more independent.

I've given up the illusion that I'm on some career fast-track. First of all, I'm not even doing what I love to do. I have been doing it for more than ten years because I have obligations to meet and I'm good at it. But it's not my passion. Secondly, in my company's history no one has ever been promoted from within. I thought I would but the rug got pulled out from underneath me and I shouldn't have been surprised. In the last ten months, we probably have had in excess of one dozen new hires ... seven of those were middle-aged white men. One of those men will be my new boss. I'm not pulling the race card, I'm just saying. But it is what it is. For years, I would view this as an injustice and I would make plans to leave ... sending out resumes, scouring the net, all that. But in each place that I ended up, the story would be the same--except I would have a bigger paycheck. There is no perfect job as long as you are working for someone else. I will not fight against the machine known as corporate America. Instead, I will take steps to turn my passion into my vocation and in the meantime allow the corporate world to continue paying my mortgage.

Over the weeked my guy told me the story of how he turned his passion into his vocation and it started about twelve years ago when he picked up a guitar. He was patient and diligent and it paid off. Not quickly but it did. He wakes up everyday knowing that he is going to do what he loves to do. During the story he said, "passion propels progress". I know he didn't make that up but he shared it with me and I'm sharing it with you.

It is what it is is an interesting sentiment and it's probably easier said than done in many situations. Earlier today my mother called to tell me that my father had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. They don't know what's wrong with him. He had trouble breathing and they found some kind of mass around his lungs. He's in ICU. How do I accept that? I can't go to sleep because as long as I am awake I believe he'll be okay. If you know how to pray please pray for my father.

It is what it is? Not this time.


Blah Blah Blah said...

I pray.

Things that can not be understood...and those things that have no understanding...become "it is, what it is".

Rosemarie said...

I appreciate your honesty and "letting it all hang out."

You will find your own unique path in motherhood with teenagers, career choice, and progress towards your passion. I just know it! :D

My prayers have already gone up!

Diva (in Demand) said...

I said a little prayer as I was reading Chele. Keep holding it together chica......

Blu Jewel said...

*hugs* and prayers will be extended to you and your father. I wish you and yours the very best.

I too, use "it is what it is" as a term of acceptance. I liken it to the Serenity Prayer; ..."accept the things I cannot change." I strive not to expend energy that creates negative discharge.

Do whatever it takes to fuel your passion and create the life for you want.


LadyLee said...

I'm late, late, late as usual.

I love this post. Reminds me to let go and let it be.

Teenage years: that's how they are! (You remember how you were, don't you?)

Hope Dad is alright, and back to himself in no time. Definitely praying for you and yours.