Wednesday, August 27, 2008


You teach people how to treat you.

You've heard that before, right? I say it all the time. In fact, I said it to one of my younger co-workers yesterday. She felt she was being dealt with unfairly and wanted to know what she should do. I don't give advice. I make suggestions but I never say to someone, "You should do this" or "You need to do that". So I told her You teach people how to treat you. If you accept this treatment now than that is the signal that you will always accept it. You have set the bar for what is acceptable treatment. If someone hits you over the head once and you don't say anything than they'll do it again ... and again ... again.

We've got to set the bar higher.

If someone knows they can do whatever and get away with it ... why would you think that they wouldn't do it again? Come on.

Know that you deserve better and if your present situation is not living up to your expectations than you have a decision to make.

The very first time someone comes at you crazy, you have got to correct that situation immediately. There is a woman at work who assigns a nickname or term of endearment to some of us. She has called me "boo-boo", "sweetie" ... stuff like that. It doesn't bother me one way or the other. However, it does bother one of my other co-workers and she told her the very first time, "I would prefer it if you would please call me (her given name)." No muss, no fuss. It's something small but she wanted the woman to know that she wanted to be treated as a professional at all times. Period.

We can't be afraid to speak up. We can't be afraid to ask for what we want. We have got to teach people how to treat us. Let them know what you will accept. What's the worse thing that could happen?


princessdominique said...

You're right, I say it all the time. Some people like to whine about what people are doing to them, and some people like to do something about it. I don't give advice either, but speak up or just lay down like a carpet. The choice is really ours.

nikki said...

i've had that as a part of my personal mantra for the last few years and it has proven to be true over and over again.

all u gotta do is look at how kids act when they're around different adults. i've got a younger cousin who acts all kinds of crazy around his mom but my mom checked his ass at the door early and he doesn't even TRY that nonsense with her.

same goes for folk. let 'em know up front how to treat you and the repercussions if they don't come correct. i'm having to do this shit more often now that i'm dating again.

Blu Jewel said...

Preach! This ties with the post I did yesterday. I refuse to accept things that I know aren't good or right for me because I refuse to set the precedence for bullshit and drama.

I have a voice and I'm not afraid to use it is one of my mantra's and I will say what I feel when it comes to how people THINK they can treat me.

@Nikki, feeling you on having to do it more and more now that you're dating. My last post speaks to this and the new interest KNOWS I don't do the BS; told him that day 1.


princessdominique said...

Amen ladies!

Believer 1964 said...

So thankful for hard work like this – teaching ourselves we’re worthy – that leads to quality folk and greater peace in our lives.

You’ve been linked as I share more about the issue. Come check it out!