Tuesday, January 6, 2009

New Things

I watched yesterday's episode of Op.rah as many of you probably did. And she accomplished her task of getting me to think. At one point during the show I was feeling bad. Thinking to myself that I'm 44 and I'll never see 34 or 24 again. I only have one pair of jeans that fit me comfortably. I've started doing crunches again and I can only do 20 before I feel like I'm going to die! I remember when I could do 50 without breaking a sweat. I was really just thinking about some yucky stuff.

I shook that off pretty quickly and got back on track. Thank God I'm 44. Thank God I'll never see 34 or 24 again. Those were awful years! The fact is, I'm transitioning and historically I don't do well with transition. I've said this before so forgive the redundancy but my kids will soon be gone and I have to figure out what I'm going to do if I'm not being a full-time mother.

Please don't leave any comforting comments about how they'll always need me. I know that. I'm not concerned with that. I'm looking forward to waking up in the morning and finding my kitchen in the same state in which I left it the night before! I'm looking forward to the day when they are no longer financially dependent on me ... I'm thinking at least seven years. (Of course, my 38-year old brother just moved back in with my parents ... so I may be wishful thinking.) My issue is with what I AM GOING TO DO when that day comes.

So far, I have one idea: I love to eat and I love to write and I live in a tourist trap. Maybe I'll write a restaurant guide. I'm already writing restaurant reviews for a local magazine so why not take it a step further? The more I think about it, the more giddy I become.

One of the things that stood out for me while watching B.ob Gre.ene talk about Op.rah was when he said that she learned the tools of survival but she never really learned how to live. That is my life in a nutshell. I am definitely a survivor but now I have to transition from surviving to living and it's not as easy as one may think.


Aunt Jackie said...

oh shoots i deleted my comment.

I'm glad to see you are thinking ahead to growing your life my parents didn't and now retirement is like punishment for them and they meddle in our lives far too much for comfort:-)

LadyLee said...

Well at least you are thinking about it now... by then, you'll have a plethora of ideas, and hopefully already full speed ahead in some of them.

Blu Jewel said...

The love of writing always gives you something to write about. I deleted yesterday's Oprah because quite frankly i don't give a rats tail that she's gained weight again. i've some to learn and understand that some people just aren't meant to be skinny, thin, or whatever you want to call it. sometimes you just have to accept who you are and not who you want to be or think you should be.

like you, i don't want to go back to certain stages of my life. in fact, i quite like who i am, where i am, and where i'm going. i'm living by my own codes and enjoying every moment of it.

love to live; live to love!

LB said...

I have times in my life when I feel as if I'm just existing and other times when I feel as if I'm truly living!

30 has been good...much better than my 20s so far, but I'm just looking forward to the day when my son can be a latch-key kid so that I can ease up off these afterschool care costs.

lyre said...

the first step to living is taking assessment and you've done that! then letting go of dead weight if any. that was a long process for me. then making a list of things you want to do. then take action! I say you are there!

Luke Cage said...

LOL @ Blu Jewel saying she don't give a rats ass about Oprah's weight. I dvr every episode and go over the synopsis to see if I want to see the show. I have it saved and will probably watch it this weekend. I'm one of those folks who like some junk in the trunk and big and large women are a turnon for me. But I understand not all of them who are that way, WANT to be that way you know?

With that said, and I haven't seen that episode, but I hope she's able to accomplish whatever she is attempting to accomplish. That line about Oprah learning the tools of survival but never really learned how to live was pretty profound. Here's to you as well miss Chele.

Been a long time luv, but I'm back. Happy New Year to you and your loving family!

Icey said...

"I am definitely a survivor but now I have to transition from surviving to living and it's not as easy as one may think."

True that!!

This is MY year for living it up and I am damned excited about it! I have been denying my needs and wants because of other people's needs and wants and it is over! I have gotten out of a relationship that was no good for me and my 20 year will be moving out at the end of the month so it will just be Babe and I...I can't wait!

Believer 1964 said...

You're asking yourself questions and considering the opportunities. It’s all good! Whatever you do, don’t stop writing.