I was speaking with a friend yesterday about her relationship. She's been happily married for 20 years to a wonderful man. She said something that surprised me though ... "I have to get something of my own because I can't keep allowing him to be my air." She harbors a lingering fear that he's going to leave. Logically, she knows he ain't going nowhere. In twenty years he has never done anything to give her any reason to believe that he would leave but still the fear hovers around her like a dark cloud. I told her that it doesn't matter how much stuff of her own she gets ... if he leaves, none of it will mean a thing. And I know from experience because I have tons of "my own stuff" but when he was gone I didn't care about any of it.
7 comments:
You know, it's something where our fears can take us.
Fear and faith are reciprocal. Our faith connects us to what we are believing for. Likewise, our fear connects us to what we are fearing.
Tell your friend to have faith. She doesn't want her fear to have her on a path heading towards a result she does not want.
Interesting. Even after 20 years she has that fear.
I love that song by the way.
Ditto what Lady Lee said. Why create a problem where there obviously isn't one.
Love to live; live to love!
I sorta understand her fears as I have a friend who fears that her husband will leave her and she won't have a thing. Get this- she is married to a rock and roll legend son. She lives in a 3 million dollar home but she said to me that she wanted her own home. I didn't understand this until she explained. My home is his. My name is not on the deed. His father bought the house for his son. She is going into 23 years of marriage this month, but she still feels that she can lose it all. I say, you made it this far- enjoy and release those fears. Plus she believes that he has been fatihful all these years. So release those fears...
I read somewhere that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Hmmmm... No evidence, then it's not real tell her to please let it go and keep on keepin' on.
I remember I used to love that song and Radio.Dis.ney played it over and over again. I still love it too.
You are so right. nothing matters when a relationship ends. When my marriage surprising ended after 20 years of marriage, nothing meant anything. Actually I didnt want to have anything becasue it all reminded me of the pain of loss. hell it was years before I could go into a home depot. So she might as well enjoy it. Cause if it ends, she will want new stuff for a new life.
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