At My Age, It's Not Cool ...

To play games

To participate in popularity contests

To be part of a clique

To have anymore children

To have sex in a car

Not to say exactly what’s on my mind

Not to do exactly what I want

Not to be able to say “no” when necessary

To date men my son’s age

To dress like my daughter

People say I have a lot of rules for myself. Usually those people are people who are trying to get me to do something I have no interest in doing. Recently, someone asked me to do something that I have absolutely no desire to do. Here’s how it went down:

As you may or may not know, for the past year I have been writing restaurant reviews for one of the local magazines here in VB. I was excited about doing this because I wanted to sharpen my writing skills, deal with deadlines and build my library of published works. I agreed to do this on a volunteer basis because I love doing what I do. Last month, I interviewed a restaurant manager for one of the places we were to feature. We spoke for at least thirty minutes and I took about three pages of notes. It was one of the more in-depth interviews, as I usually just eat and write … but this guy wanted to talk. No problem. Well, the article came out and apparently one of the owners was not so thrilled with my write up. Why? Not because I said horrible things about the food. On the contrary, the food was excellent. As was the service, price and the atmosphere. This guy’s nose was out of joint because his name wasn’t mentioned in the article. Well, honey if your manager had given me your name it would have been mentioned.

So, the publisher of the magazine sends me the following e-mail:

[Owner Guy} is one of the owners and feels really pissed that he was not in the article. His number is XXX-XXXX. I told him we might want to do an interview with him, maybe man of the month. We could explain the whole story about him starting the place. I can't get [the guy I spoke to] to answer his phone.

Hmph.

I’ve thought about it for a couple days and here is the reply that I’m sending:

I have been writing restaurant reviews for [Name of Magazine] for the past year and I have appreciated the experience and the opportunity to build up my library of published works. I have done this on a 100% volunteer basis because I enjoy doing what I do.

However, I have no interest in writing a “Man of the Month” article in order to stroke [Owner Guy’s] ego. If he has a problem with what I wrote in the [name of restaurant] article, then he needs to have a conversation with [guy I spoke to]. Everything I wrote came directly from [guy I spoke to]. The names that were included were the names that [guy I spoke to] provided.

Additionally, the time and expense that I put into writing the reviews has become burdensome. As I said, while I have enjoyed the experience I feel this should be the end of our professional relationship.

Sorry dude, I don’t do the ego-stroke. Never have, never will.

Truth be told, Bryan and I have spoken quite a bit about using our talent and resources and starting our own entertainment/restaurant guide … maybe now is the time to take that more seriously.