More often than not, I find myself in situations where I am in the middle of a conversation when someone is making what they feel is a disparaging remark about someone and unbeknownst to them, the same thing applies to me.
Sixteen years ago when I first moved here my first priorities were to find a job and find a daycare provider for my then three-year old son. I went through an organization called The Daycare Connection which was sort of like match dot come for daycare. I contacted them and they gave me a list of names of providers to call and interview. I called this one lady who provided in-home daycare services and she proceeded to tell me about herself and her background. She was a local and said that she attended such-and-such high school and in her words, “ … unfortunately it’s all Black now …”
I thanked her for her time and called the next provider on the list.
More recently, a co-worker and I were walking down the hall and she was talking sh*t about some dude and saying things about the fact that he was married to a white woman.
Well, I’m with a white man and so what?
Another co-worker of mine was talking sh*t about someone and she said, “She doesn’t even have a degree!”
Well, neither do I and so what?
Am I supposed to make the situation more awkward by saying, “Well, my boyfriend is white” or “I don’t have a degree either”. I don’t.
I don’t know. Some would argue that if I were to speak up I would open up a meaningful dialogue about race relations or education and how we feel about such topics.
Honestly? I don’t give a damn. I know I sound apathetic. I know that. But the truth is, who I choose to date is none of your damn business. My lack of formal education has not stopped me from succeeding in a field that is not necessarily overflowing with women of color and it hasn’t stopped me from making a very good living compared to most. I don’t have any desire to discuss either topic at any length with anyone. Especially people who spend the majority of their time talking sh*t about people. I make my decisions for me, not to make any kind of statement.
I don’t know. I wrote this post because it was bothering me that I was involved in these conversations. It’s really not about me though. I’m not the issue. What I really want is for people to stop talking sh*t about each other. At least when they are in my presence. It's counterproductive and it just plain hurts. Seriously, just knock it off.