Ever Ask Yourself ...

... how the hell did I get back here?

What was the answer?

Let It Be

More often than not, I find myself in situations where I am in the middle of a conversation when someone is making what they feel is a disparaging remark about someone and unbeknownst to them, the same thing applies to me.

Sixteen years ago when I first moved here my first priorities were to find a job and find a daycare provider for my then three-year old son. I went through an organization called The Daycare Connection which was sort of like match dot come for daycare. I contacted them and they gave me a list of names of providers to call and interview. I called this one lady who provided in-home daycare services and she proceeded to tell me about herself and her background. She was a local and said that she attended such-and-such high school and in her words, “ … unfortunately it’s all Black now …”

**blink**

I thanked her for her time and called the next provider on the list.

More recently, a co-worker and I were walking down the hall and she was talking sh*t about some dude and saying things about the fact that he was married to a white woman.

Well, I’m with a white man and so what?

Another co-worker of mine was talking sh*t about someone and she said, “She doesn’t even have a degree!”

Well, neither do I and so what?

Am I supposed to make the situation more awkward by saying, “Well, my boyfriend is white” or “I don’t have a degree either”. I don’t.

Why?

I don’t know. Some would argue that if I were to speak up I would open up a meaningful dialogue about race relations or education and how we feel about such topics.

Honestly? I don’t give a damn. I know I sound apathetic. I know that. But the truth is, who I choose to date is none of your damn business. My lack of formal education has not stopped me from succeeding in a field that is not necessarily overflowing with women of color and it hasn’t stopped me from making a very good living compared to most. I don’t have any desire to discuss either topic at any length with anyone. Especially people who spend the majority of their time talking sh*t about people. I make my decisions for me, not to make any kind of statement.

I don’t know. I wrote this post because it was bothering me that I was involved in these conversations. It’s really not about me though. I’m not the issue. What I really want is for people to stop talking sh*t about each other. At least when they are in my presence. It's counterproductive and it just plain hurts. Seriously, just knock it off.

Keep Him From Cheating

There's an article on MSN announcing Gary Neuman's book about cheating and the truth behind it. I only scanned the article. He was also on Oprah and I could only watch the show for a few minutes.

The implication that it is a woman's responsibility to keep her man from cheating pisses me the hell off.

I think this is dangerous because it will result in women blaming themselves for something that is not their fault. Shit.

If you are in a committed relationship (KEYWORD: COMMITTED), why the hell do I have to do a got-damn thing to keep you from cheating? If I'm committed I'm not cheating and I expect the same in return. If there is no committment, then obviously all bets are off.

You cannot stop someone from cheating if that is what they want to do. And if that is what they want to do ... then roll the hell on.

I have absolutely no tolerance for that bullshit.

Can you tell?