Friday - They met for the first time at an event. Interesting because it was an event that neither one of them would have normally attended. Because they were the only two people of color in attendance they eventually gravitated toward one another and struck up a conversation. Small talk, nothing heavy. He knows she has two children, she knows he has one. She leaves the event early because of another commitment but leaves him with her business card, which only contains her work phone number and email. He explains that he will be out of town all next week because he didn’t want her to get the impression that he was blowing her off in case she didn’t hear from him. She shrugs her shoulders and leaves.
Monday - To her surprise, he calls her at work as he is on his way out of town. She expresses her surprise as she didn’t expect to hear anything all week. More small talk. At the end of the conversation he indicates that she can call him if she wants to. She says she’ll just wait until he gets back to town.
Thursday - He calls her at work and says he has meetings on her side of town on Friday and wants to know if she would like to have lunch. He says that he has cleared the entire day so time is not a factor. She accepts the invitation and tells him to call her back on Friday when he is out of his meetings and she’ll tell him where and when to meet her.
Friday - He calls her at work after his meetings and she gives him the time and location for lunch.
They meet and even though she has a mental list of questions to ask him she holds off on the interrogation until after they order their food. The conversation is flowing and they seem to be having a good time. An hour and a half passes and she really has to get back to work. She reconsiders the interrogation and is debating on whether or not she should give him her cell phone number. She knows she can’t give out the digits without asking one very important question:
Her: I need to ask you something, because if I don’t it’s going to bother me all weekend.
Him: Go ahead.
Her: It’s about your daughter’s mother.
Him: She has one.
Her: You’re married?
Her: Excuse me?
Her: And you’re here because …
Her: I find it interesting that you would think this is okay. I find it even more interesting that you think that I would think this is okay. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of women who find this acceptable but I’m not one of them. I don’t have the desperate gene. Thanks for lunch. Good bye.
Message to Married Men: Honor your commitment and stop stepping to single women. Seriously, you suck.
Message to Desperate Women: The only reason ole boy thought that this was okay is because of YOU. Stop giving married men the green light to step to you, it makes the rest of us non-desperate types look bad. Stop lying to yourself by saying that this behavior is okay. It’s not okay! Seriously, you suck.