Monday, August 29, 2011
Open Mouth Insert Foot
Him: I don’t think I’ve taken a vacation in about two years. At the end of the year I always have a bunch of use-or-lose leave that I end up losing or donating.
Me: That’s nuts. I take a vacation every year. I’d die without my time off.
Him: I guess I’m just backwards. I’m not going to waste my leave if I’m not leaving the state.
Me: You need your time off to rejuvenate. You work hard every day you should give yourself a break.
Him: I guess.
Me: I take small trips every year but my next big vacation will be to Italy. I was supposed to go this year but I changed my mind.
Him: Why’d you change your mind?
Me: Because I didn’t want to travel out of the country alone. But I’m definitely going in the next three years even if I have to go alone. (pause) Wanna go?
Him: (No pause) Sure I’ll go!
See what happened there? A perfectly good friendly conversation gone awry.
The ridiculously, hopeless romantic part of me thought this would be perfect. Ten days in romantic Tuscany and at the end of the trip we would realize how much we have always loved each other and we would come back to the states and live happily ever after.
The logical, smarter side of me realizes what a huge mistake the invitation was. We’ve been apart for more than twenty years and our lives are not fairy tales. What was I thinking?
Me: Don’t make me a promise that you can’t keep because I’ll end up hating you. Take some time to think about it.
Him: You’re right. I certainly don’t want you to hate me, so I’ll think about it.
Me: Okay. Do some research and get back to me.
He’s a lot more logical than I am. He’ll make the right decision. If not for himself, then he’ll make the right decision for me. That’s just the kind of person he is. I told him once that our telephone conversations made me uncomfortable because we always wound up on Memory Lane and I hate Memory Lane. So, he stopped calling as frequently and he makes an effort to keep the conversations in the present.
Do you ever need someone else to be “the strong one” because you just can’t? That’s me when it comes to him.
I can be such a girl.