Don't Fight It

I read somewhere that the thing that you fight hardest against is the thing that seems to grow larger in your life and seems to never go away. Or something like that. In other words, the more energy you exert fighting something, the more the thing fights back.

In any case, you all know how I feel about business travel. Not one of my favorite things in the world to do. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I hate it. Every time my manager would mention that I had to go somewhere I would make a face and cringe on the inside. It always brought back memories of the days when I had to travel to Cambridge 2 days out of the week every week for almost three months. My kids were 12 and 16 then and leaving them for those 2 days and nights gave me anxiety attacks. Now they are older and not really a factor, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Early last year, I had to make a trip to S. Carolina to give a 5 minute presentation. I had to take two planes there and two planes back just to sit in a conference room and give a 5 minute presentation. Don’t ask me why I couldn’t have done it over the phone. These meetings were scheduled for once a quarter and it just really upset me that so much time and money was being wasted and I wasn’t quiet about it. It was driving me crazy. I was able to get out of the next meeting but I couldn’t escape the November meeting.

Since there was no escaping it I decided to stop fighting it. I was tired of being upset. I knew that if I couldn’t change it there was no point in being upset. I had to go. So, I put my attitude to the side and consciously made a decision to enjoy the trip. I still wasn’t thrilled about it but I wasn’t going to be upset anymore. During the November trip I discovered a huge outlet mall right near the office. Jackpot! In addition to the 5 minute presentation, I also attended an awards ceremony and an open house. The time was well spent.

I came home, not looking forward to the next trip but not dreading it either.

Fast forward to yesterday … I’m having a conversation with my manager and he informs me that it won’t be necessary for me to make any more trips to SC. Why? Because one of my colleagues is getting married and moving there and will be the resident Administrator in our SC office.

Ain’t love grand?

I find it fascinating that the minute I changed my attitude and decided to stop fighting these trips, I no longer had to take them. I never asked God to fix it so I wouldn’t have to travel, I accepted what was and kept it moving. But God knew my heart and gave me exactly what I wanted as soon as I stopped fighting. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:5-8:

Servants, respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don't just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ's servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, you're really serving God. Good work will get you good pay from the Master, regardless of whether you are slave or free. (The Message)

The way I see it, a good attitude will always get you further than a bad one.

Open Mouth Insert Foot

Him: I don’t think I’ve taken a vacation in about two years. At the end of the year I always have a bunch of use-or-lose leave that I end up losing or donating.

Me: That’s nuts. I take a vacation every year. I’d die without my time off.

Him: I guess I’m just backwards. I’m not going to waste my leave if I’m not leaving the state.

Me: You need your time off to rejuvenate. You work hard every day you should give yourself a break.

Him: I guess.

Me: I take small trips every year but my next big vacation will be to Italy. I was supposed to go this year but I changed my mind.

Him: Why’d you change your mind?

Me: Because I didn’t want to travel out of the country alone. But I’m definitely going in the next three years even if I have to go alone. (pause) Wanna go?

Him: (No pause) Sure I’ll go!

See what happened there? A perfectly good friendly conversation gone awry.

The ridiculously, hopeless romantic part of me thought this would be perfect. Ten days in romantic Tuscany and at the end of the trip we would realize how much we have always loved each other and we would come back to the states and live happily ever after.

The logical, smarter side of me realizes what a huge mistake the invitation was. We’ve been apart for more than twenty years and our lives are not fairy tales. What was I thinking?

Me: Don’t make me a promise that you can’t keep because I’ll end up hating you. Take some time to think about it.

Him: You’re right. I certainly don’t want you to hate me, so I’ll think about it.

Me: Okay. Do some research and get back to me.

He’s a lot more logical than I am. He’ll make the right decision. If not for himself, then he’ll make the right decision for me. That’s just the kind of person he is. I told him once that our telephone conversations made me uncomfortable because we always wound up on Memory Lane and I hate Memory Lane. So, he stopped calling as frequently and he makes an effort to keep the conversations in the present.

Do you ever need someone else to be “the strong one” because you just can’t? That’s me when it comes to him.

I can be such a girl.

Hey, Over Here!

I’m back from Charleston. Nice town. I didn’t get to see much of it because I was there for business. Arrive Monday night, leave on Tuesday night. I prefer quick business trips like that because I’m not away from the kingdom for very long but they wear me out. I missed my meditation session this morning because my body just needed to rest. I lay in the bed and watched the clock and reminded myself that I need to be kinder to myself. For me, mediation will never be an obligation but will always be something that I enjoy and benefit from.

Anyway, the trip itself, although short was quite productive. The intent was to smooth some feathers (which I did not ruffle) and stroke some egos. Due to some recent realignments I am now responsible for this area so I went down there to meet the folks that I’d be supporting and find out what their needs are. The recurring theme? “Don’t ignore me.” These folks were not shy about letting me know that they felt somewhat ignored by my predecessor. Some exercised diplomacy while discussing the matter. Others were just blunt about it. I do not have a problem with folks being direct, however, my predecessor’s reputation was being sullied and it gave me food for thought: If I slip up, they won’t have a problem trashing me either.

I’ve been supporting them for the past two weeks and they have done nothing but sing my praises. It was still important to get down there and make sure that they know that I’m making them a priority. Shake hands. Smile. Listen intently. The typical dog-and-pony show. Blech.

The whole thing got me to thinking. Remember the scene in Fatal Attraction when Glenn Close says, “I’m not going to be ignored, Dan!” Well, we all know what happened there. My point is, people in relationships, whether they be romantic, familial, or business just want to know that they aren’t being ignored. That their efforts are not being taken lightly. They want to know that they are appreciated. Usually it doesn’t take much to let someone know that they are important. That their concerns will not go unnoticed.

So what’s the take-away? Don’t ignore the people in your life. That is, if you want them to stay in your life.

My Luck is Changing

I'm known for saying, "I never win anything!" But here lately, my luck has changed. Two weeks ago I won a giant bottle of wine. Last week, I won a sexy pair of sandals.

Now, The Travel Channel is giving away a trip for 2 to ....

wait for it


wait for it


ITALY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Click here for details


Say what you want, but I am all over this. Of course, I'll still be doing my due diligence and saving and planning ... but hey, you never know.

Discovering Italy

Back in September in this post I put up my dream board, which included a trip to Italy.

I’m going.

That’s it.

I’m inspired by those of you who have made the trek to Europe and this is something that I really want to do. So why not?

I love the planning stages.

I’ve decided that I want to see Tuscany.

Beautiful landscapes and art

I want to drink a lot of good wine and eat awesome guilt-free food.

I want to see something and say, “Wow!”

According to the Tuscany travel guide, the best time to go is late April – early June and mid September to late October … which is my birthday. I’m thinking October 2011. Plenty of time to plan and save.

Yay!

Manic Monday

I was supposed to leave for a 3-day business trip today. But I had to cancel it at the last minute because of developments in my household that need my immediate attention. No one is dead or in jail but let's just say it really sucks when you discover that you can't trust the people that you live with.

Teenagers suck.

The Weary Traveler

I'm not a fan of travel. I think I've said before that I enjoy being at other places I just don't enjoy what I have to do in order to get there. The actual traveling part is just a big pain. Which is too bad for me because I'm in the process of planning my vacation schedule for 2009. I want to take the kids to Disn.ey one last time before they decide they don't want to travel with me anymore. My guy and I are talking about a trip to Jamaica with my sister and brother-in-law. We'll definitely take another trip to Virginia wine country. It seems that I'm going to have change my mind set regarding travel. I spent a good eight hours on the road yesterday traveling to my company's corporate office. Why? To attend a meeting which lasted just over an hour, to have lunch, to meet my boss and to get some face time with others that I deal with on a regular basis. Great importance is placed on "face time" around here and that's wonderful but the highway runs in two directions. They expect me up there at least once a month. Next time, I'm spending the night instead of going up and back in one day. I'm beat.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

I'm in San Francisco and I had no idea it was so cold here. It is northern California so I guess I should have figured it out. I left the upper 80s and entered the lower 60s.

Baby, it's cold.

I have toured Fisherman's Wharf, took pictures of the big, noisy, smelly seals, had lunch at Boudin, bought chocolate at Ghiraardelli, took three very scary cab rides and caught a Giants game at AT&T park. That was all in the first day. That is more activity than I'm used to in one day. Suffice it to say I'm cold and I'm tired.

I'm preparing for my second day in this city. It's going to be filled with one meeting after another. I'm thrilled.

I miss home and everything that goes along with it. I'm not a happy traveler, unless of course I'm traveling with my loved ones.

I believe this is a beautiful city and I hope to see more of the beautiful parts instead of all the tourist-y parts.

Many Thanks

As an anniversary gift to B, I took him on a journey to New York in order to see one of his favorite musicians, Johnny A. The quick trip was a success due in part to many people that we met along the way.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of them:

Crew of Airtran Flight 648: For taking off on time and for providing vodka and cranberry to B at 1:30 in the afternoon to help combat his fear of flying.

Ground Transportation Customer Service Rep: Who sent us to the National Car Rental Shuttle when I asked for the Hertz Shuttle. I know you and the shuttle driver were just trying to drum up business for National but I had already pre-paid for Hertz.

National Car Rental Shuttle Driver: For driving us back to Hertz once you realized that we weren’t going with National.

Hertz Rental Agent: Even though you didn’t look at me the entire time we were conducting our transaction, you did provide us with directions to Grand Central Parkway.

Decision Makers at Hertz: For having the sense to put GPS systems in your rental cars. Even though B and I are technologically challenged, we did finally figure out how to get the hell out of the city and onto Grand Central Parkway.

People of New York on Saturday afternoon: Thanks for laying on your horns and yelling obscenities at me as I tried to navigate my way out of the city. It reminded me of home!

Tiffany at the Orangeburg Holiday Inn: Thanks for your patience with B after the third phone call for directions to the hotel and understanding that Route 303 could not be programmed into the friggin’ GPS.

Management at The Turning Point: Thanks for cramming 70 seats into a venue that should hold about 50. The intimate setting during the show really made it special.

Bob and Marion: Meeting you was the best part of the trip! After all, if it hadn’t been for you we would have been stuck in the back instead sitting so close to Johnny we could see the sweat dripping from his brow. Seriously, thanks!

Waitress at The Turning Point: After forgetting to put our food order in, thanks for buying our second round of drinks. Although I really, really wanted that food.

Johnny A: Thanks for being gracious enough at the end of the evening to sign autographs and pose for pictures with B … it made his night.

Waitress at the Orangeburg Holiday Inn: Thanks for nothing. You were really bad.

Sales girl at The Body Shop at LaGuardia: Thank you for being so nice after we had to return our $50 purchase after realizing that we couldn’t carry it on the plane. I am so sorry!

Bartender at Fig’s at LaGuardia: Dude, great Cosmo! Thanks!

TSA: Thanks for getting us through the line quickly and efficiently.

Crew of Airtran Flight 639: Thanks for taking off and landing on time and for the 2 vodka and cranberries that you gave to B to help combat his fear of flying.

Lady sitting across from me with the sleeping baby: Thanks!

My kids: Thanks for not making me feel guilty for taking this trip and thanks for not wrecking the house while I was gone.

B: Thank you for teaching me patience. You are one panicky, obsessive-compulsive man. If I didn’t love you so much I would have thrown your behind out of the moving car as we crossed the GW Bridge.