Happy New Year

It's the first Monday of the new year and my last day off. I got up early this morning to start my daughter's FAFSA form. I'll have to finish it tomorrow. I plan to go for a run with BGR! this afternoon at 4:00 and after that the kids and I are going to see a movie. There's a place across the bay that my son has been dying to take me to, so today is the day.

If you watched my last video, you know that I have high expectations for 2012. I can't remember a year when my expectations were this high. I feel like a big ball of energy.

New Year's Eve was interesting. Both of the kids had plans and I didn't expect to see either one of them until the next morning. I had an invitation but decided to decline at the last minute. I just wanted to chill at home. At midnight I thanked God for the new year and prayed for the safety of both my children. To my surprise and delight, they both were home before 1:00 am. God knows exactly what I need when I need it.

Make a decision to enjoy this year. Make a decision to let go of the past and be grateful that you have this chance to start again.

Look ahead.
Move forward.
Stay focused.

All You Need is ...

Christmas is over and the new year approaches and I’ve been thinking about my word for 2012. My word for 2011 was “restoration” and now that it is December I can honestly say that it was the right choice. 2010 was definitely the year for healing. After the healing, it was time to be restored.

I have to admit that when I started to think about this I had to ask myself and answer myself honestly, “Have I been restored?” I thought long and hard about the answer and the only thing I could come up with was furniture restoration. I thought about that process. When a piece of old, beat up furniture is being restored it first has to be completely stripped and brought to its barest, most raw state before the restoration process can begin.

Yeah, I think that pretty well sums up my 2011. I felt old and beat up at the beginning of the year and through this process I now feel all shiny and new. I was stripped bare and I have been restored. Through much prayer, much faith and much belief I have been restored … not to my old self … but to a better version of myself. I’m happier. I smile more easily. I am much more patient and relaxed.

So what’s the word for 2012? What comes after restoration?

I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to love. Not just in the romantic sense but I’m ready to let my guard down and open myself up to new relationships. After a certain number of years of being hurt by people I have built a pretty sturdy wall around myself. What I have discovered is that my wall not only kept me from getting hurt, but it kept me from being loved. It kept me from really showing love to others.

Love is the thing. I miss it. I miss intimacy. I miss the connection.

So the word for 2012 is simply, LOVE. Being brave enough to give it and being open enough to receive it.

Restoration

I saw this idea on someone else’s blog and I thought it was fabulous, so I stole it. Instead of making lists of resolutions I have chosen one word that will define 2011 for me. In 2010 the phrase was “no fear” and in 2011 my word is


RESTORE

Dictionary.com defines restore as follows:

–verb (used with object), -stored, -stor·ing.
1. to bring back into existence, use, or the like; reestablish: to restore order.
2. to bring back to a former, original, or normal condition, as a building, statue, or painting.
3. to bring back to a state of health, soundness, or vigor.
4. to put back to a former place, or to a former position, rank, etc.: to restore the king to his throne.
5. to give back; make return or restitution of (anything taken away or lost).

How appropriate for me.

For years, I have felt like I didn’t even really exist. Like I was always the background to someone else’s foreground. In 2011, I will be in the foreground.

I haven’t been comfortable in my own skin because I was conforming to what you (whomever YOU are) thought I should be instead of following my own mind. In 2011, I’m coming back to my normal or original condition.

Whatever I felt I have lost over the years, will be brought back to me. I will take my rightful place. I will stand tall.

I used to believe that I took really good care of myself. I mean, I don’t skimp on the “me” time. I treat myself often. I very rarely go without. But the truth is, when it comes to emotional matters, matters of the heart, I seem to be lacking. It’s difficult to explain other than to say that in certain situations I find it easier to put on a mask that reflects who you think I am. And in the process I may have forgotten who I really am.

In 2011 I will be restored.

Happy New Year!!