Forty Seven

Last night I was relaxing in the bath, allowing the smell of lavender to envelope me and then it dawned on me: half of my life is over. Don't worry, this is not a sad, morbid post about my mortality blah blah blah. It's like when I treat myself to the occasional Snicker bar. I'm so excited about the chocolate and peanuts and I rush through the first half. Then I look down and I realize that half that candy bar is gone. The first half was so good but I know I really have to savor the second half because once it's gone ... it's gone.

That's how I'm feeling this morning. I really have to savor the second half.

I've done quite in bit during the first half:

I got married. In fact, I was so ambitious that I did it twice!
I had my kids
I bought a home
I made some money
I did some traveling
I made a lot of mistakes

It seems to me that my first half was populated with striving. I was always of the mind that I had to get something. I had to achieve. There's nothing wrong with that. Without goals where are we?

But the second half is going to be different. I don't feel the urgency to get get get. I feel the need to exhale. I feel the need to just breathe. Have you ever felt that way? The first 47 years have been a whirlwind. I've enjoyed most of it but not as much as I could have. I've allowed stress to overtake me more times than I should have. I'm done with that.

There are still things that I want to achieve in the second half. I want to visit Italy. I want to get married again and I want a house on the beach.

Small things. :)

But more importantly I want my spirit to be calm. I want to always be thankful in every circumstance and every situation. I want to view every single day as a gift from God.

Because it is.


But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)