How High?

I've said since the first day of the year that my expectations for 2012 were high.

How high?

Super high.

But it doesn't matter how high my expectations are or how big my plans are ... God always manages to outdo me. He blows me out of the water every time.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD (Isaiah 55:8)

School wasn't even on my radar on January 1st. Now, it's the only thing I can think about. Truth be told, I thought this was going to be the year that I really learned to accept love and begin a relationship. **shrugs** I've been single for two years and I've been just fine on my own. In fact, I've learned more about myself in the past two years than I ever have.

God has a plan.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

What's It Gonna Look Like?

I have never been more consumed with what my future is going to look like than I am right now and I’m not sure why that is. Not when I was about to be a wife, not when I was pregnant, not even when I decided to get divorced. My attitude has always been, “whatever happens, happens”. I never gave it much thought. That apathy or indifference about my own future was probably the reason why I’m so anxious now. I mean, I didn’t make any plans regarding my marriage(s) or motherhood, I just thought everything would work out. And for the most part it has but I’ve done nothing extraordinary in my life and that fact has left me feeling kind of restless. Now, in my late forties, with my nest almost empty, I am very anxious to see what my life will look like. I am capable of designing how I want it to look, I know that but the problem is: I’m not sure of how I want it to look. Ugh!!!!!! I know that working this 9-5 is not what I want. Being a slave to someone else’s schedule is not satisfying at all and I’m sick of it. I also know that I want to travel. I want to do some major renovations to my home. I want to remarry. I believe that all these things can be mine. My problem is the waiting. I keep my eyes open for opportunities but they aren’t showing up as quickly as I would like.

Have You Ever ...

... had an idea fall into your head and it was so strong that it kept you up at night?

More on that at a later date.

It's Friday, people!

Spring is creeping up on us.

Can you feel it?

I have no big plans for the weekend: working out, doing my hair, may check out a new restaurant. Or an old restaurant.

What about you? Any big plans? Or will you be taking it easy this weekend?

Thought to ponder: The story of your life is still being written so get excited about

The Next Chapter

5 Years From Now?

Looking Back

I posted this on FB this morning: If you can look back fondly … it means you’re over it.

This morning I spent some time on YouTube and pulled up a bunch of videos of songs that I used to sing during my rock star days. For the newcomers, I used to sing in a band with my ex-boyfriend. We broke up earlier this year. I stopped singing with him on regular basis more than a year ago.

Now that everyone’s caught up, I’ll continue.

Anyway, I spend a lot of time focusing on forgetting those things which are behind and focusing on what lies ahead because I’m pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling in Christ Jesus (Philipians 3:13-14).

I do this because I’m a firm believer that one cannot successfully move into their future if they are stuck in the past. I walked away from a lot when I left that relationship and I just wanted to forget all of it and leave it all behind.

But today I decided to take a look back. And when I did I smiled. I didn’t feel sad or lonely or melancholy or disappointed or angry or hurt or betrayed. I just smiled. Those were good times. I had fun being on stage and I enjoyed looking over at him and seeing him smile. That was a really fun time in my life. It was something that I am so glad I was able to experience. I don’t regret it but I also don’t miss it. I was a rock star for a season and now I’m on to something else.

I was able to look back and remember the good times and I still remained firmly in the present and I’m looking forward to my future.

Thought for the Day

I will never be 25 again.


Thank God.


I was not the sharpest tool in the shed twenty years ago. Truthfully, I may not be a Rhodes scholar twenty years later but at least today, I know who I am. I know what I want and I have the tools and the focus to get it. Twenty years ago I was pregnant and just getting out of a marriage and I didn’t know what the hell to do. I didn’t know where my life was going. All I knew was that I had to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. And that’s what I did. I’m glad I went through it. I’m glad I’m where I’m at right now. Sometimes I think about my life as it is right now and I just … smile. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and my future is so bright. The future. Do you know that there was a time when I couldn’t even see a future beyond my kids graduating? Now all I see is future! I see me in my house on the beach.

I see me running my business.

I see me healthy and strong.

I see me traveling overseas.

I see it all.

And it looks pretty damned good.