Home Sweet Home

Why, I wonder, do Monday’s always have to be such a challenge?

Was it always this way? I can’t remember.

Today was no different. It was one thing after another. I believe in doing things correctly the first time. I am not a fan of re-work. I believe in getting things done ahead of time instead of waiting until the last minute. Today I discovered that sometimes waiting can have its advantages. I had a deadline to submit 17 proposals by the 14th. All 17 are in different stages of completion. Several have been submitted. Today a truckload of extensions were issued with changes … which means that everything that has been done has to be redone to take into account the changes.

That was my day.

I arrive at work in the morning at 7:30 and I usually leave at 4:30. Today a meeting was scheduled at 5:00 in order to accommodate my west coast colleagues. I left the office at 5:45.

I had to stop by Walgreens to pick up a Silly Santa gift for tomorrow’s Christmas fellowship. I also had to place an order for spring rolls for the same fellowship. At this point, I was in no mood to cook so I ordered some takeout for my daughter and me.

It’s been a long day. On the way home from picking up the takeout the traffic was diverted because of an accident. I’m thinking to myself … I just want to get home.

For me, home has always been defined as a place of comfort, peace and most of all safety. I have never been in a situation where I just had to get out of the house. I don’t recall there ever being a time where I didn’t want to go home. If there ever was a time when my home wasn’t peaceful, I made certain changes to make it so. If you cannot find peace in your home then where will you find it? A peaceful environment is what I wanted to create for my children and I believe I have succeeded at that. I love being home.

When I pulled up at 6:45 and the outside light was on, I smiled. I came in the door and took off my boots and my daughter gave me a big hug and I smiled.

I have known people who would like to be anywhere else except in their own home. That makes me sad. My home is my safe haven. Whenever I feel beat up by the world, I know I can come here and exhale.

If you have a home that welcomes you at the end the day, be thankful.

Learning to Adapt

I am challenging myself again. The plan is to exercise 26 out of the next 30 days. I started on Saturday and so far so good. The plan was to get up this morning and run before work but to my surprise, it was still dark at 6:00 am so my plan was thwarted. I guess my early morning weekday runs will have to be done at the gym on the treadmill. Glad I didn’t cancel my gym membership. I’ll go in tonight to get my run in.

I know a lot of women who have either gone natural or are contemplating going natural in order to accommodate their workout schedule. I will not be one of those women. It’s just not for me. Yes, I’m addicted to the creamy crack. Right now, I’m in the middle of a stretch and it’s been 12 weeks and 2 days since my last relaxer. My hair is long enough where I can pull it back into a decent ponytail but I’m getting to the stage where I think I’m having more ugly days than cute days. During my last stretch I wore a wig. This time I’ll wear a half wig. I can protect my hair and still look cute.

More and more I’m finding myself in situations where I have to adapt to certain circumstances. It’s getting easier to adapt. This wasn’t always the case. If things didn’t go exactly how I thought they should go, my whole day, week or month would just be ruined. Now, I can just roll with it. It’s easier that way. Who needs the stress?

This past weekend was a perfect example. Irene showed up and knocked out my power so we had to adapt. My son’s girlfriend did not lose power so we hung out over there for a few hours on Saturday night. On Sunday morning I got up and went for a run, took a shower in the dark and got dressed and went to church. Service was amazing. Everyone was just so happy to be there and the feeling in the room cannot even be described. No grumbling, no complaining, no murmuring … just this unspeakable joy. The sermon was entitled “The Prayer of Praise”. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of a situation and you are so overwhelmed that you don’t know what to pray … just praise. Praise God for all that He is doing and for all that He has already done. For ninety minutes we were just soaking in the spirit. During that time, it didn’t matter that the electricity was out. It didn’t matter that I would have to throw away a bunch of food. Nothing mattered.

When I got home the power was back on.

What's my point? Stop stressing over things that you can't control and look to the one that controls everything.

Goals and Dreams

I admire people who set clear, concise, specific goals; develop a plan to achieve those goals; implement said plan and experience success.

It’s a beautiful thing.

I think I can count the number of times when I’ve done that successfully on one hand.

Which explains a lot.

I often dream about doing this or that but dreams are not goals. Dreams don’t require any action and goals do.

I had a goal to write and publish a novel. Achieved.
I have a dream to be a successful food writer.

I had a goal to own my own home. Achieved.
I have a dream to own another home on the beach.

I had a goal to get the job that I currently have. Achieved.
I have a dream to own my own business.

I am content and I think the reason for that is because my over arching goal is to enjoy a happy, peaceful life. And I’m not saying that because I lack ambition or the skills to turn my dreams into goals. Eventually, the dreams may evolve into goals. But I’m not pressed. I have everything I need and most of the things that I really want. I know to the Type A, I sound like a total slacker.

Whatever, man.

I’m thinking about buying a hammock.

Subtle Changes

Ever notice the difference small, subtle changes can make? I’ve been noticing lately that the tiniest shift in behavior can make a world of difference. The change is probably imperceptible to most folks but they certainly reap the benefits of the outcome.

Take my cabinets for example. I took a few hours this weekend and switched out the handles. No big deal really.
Before:



After:

You can hardly notice the difference. But I can. I like the change. It makes me feel good. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I smile every time I see what I did. I’m happier and everyone in my house reaps the benefit of that.

For years and years and years (seriously, years) my constant prayer has been for peace. Lord, I just want some peace. Searching for peace. Now, it seems kind of crazy to work so hard for something that I already had. Sort of like the scarecrow, tin man and lion. I just had to tap into it. I told you that since I came home from the spa I have added meditation to my morning ritual. I will not leave my bedroom in the morning without meditating. I need that quiet time. That small, subtle change has had a huge impact on me and that change flows throughout my world. I swear, I don’t think I’ve raised my voice once since I’ve been back. (Lord, if I’m wrong, please bring it to my remembrance).

I have peace.

During my lunch break on Friday I went shopping for my new handles. I also bought a small electric screwdriver/drill. Then I went to Target and bought a new camera. After work I picked up my daughter and took her to the mall because she needed leggings for her step show. Then we went to the grocery store. When we returned home, my son says, “Mom, is the A/C broken again?” I stepped inside the house and I knew the answer.

There are at least three things in the above paragraph that would normally have pissed me off: (1) It took forever to find the handles that I wanted (2) my daughter waited until the last minute to tell me she needed the leggings, and (3) the busted A/C. Well, I did find the handles that I wanted at a reasonable price. I have been raising teenagers long enough to know that waiting until the last minute is what they do. And thank God the temperature this weekend was mild enough that I probably would have turned off the A/C anyway and threw open the windows!

I had a choice to be pissed or not. I chose not. There is no point in getting all riled up over things that really just don’t matter.

I was in church yesterday and during praise and worship the tears just started flowing. It was crazy. I couldn’t control it and then I stopped trying to control it. I was just so happy with the realization that I have peace. That I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. I am complete. I am whole. I didn’t have to do anything huge. I didn’t have to move to another state or get another job or come into a large sum of money. I just had to make a subtle change.

Wordless Wednesday - Just Kickin' Back

The Week Ahead

I'm back from the country and I'm happy to say that there is nothing better than waking up in the morning knowing that the biggest decision I'll have to make all day is what to wear to dinner.

The plantation was interesting. I was overwhelmed with the history that surrounded me and I tried to reconcile the crimes that had once taken place on those fifty acres and the complete peace that I was feeling so many years later. The main house was beautiful and it was surrounded by several tiny cottages which were once the slaves' quarters. The innkeeper explained that the state suggested that "slave quarters" was not politically correct and in the advertisements for the inn he should use the term "servants quarters". After meeting with his staff he declined to do so. After all, they weren't servants they were slaves and politically correct brochures were not going to change that fact.

In addition to the plantation we went on a winery tour. That was so much fun. We tasted nine different wines. I only really liked three. I loved one. We bought seven bottles. We spent the afternoon sitting at the foot of the blue ridge mountains drinking Meritage, eating crackers, cheese and peppered salami. I never wanted that day to end. I forget about the city. I forgot about the assholes at work. I forgot about anything and everything that ever weighed me down.

The evenings were just as nice. We were treated to beautiful five-course gourmet dinners at the inn and the staff spent time telling my guy that the place was haunted. We were back in the room each night before 10:00 p.m. and built a fire. We just lay in bed and talked and listened to the radio and watched the flames while the room filled with the smell of burning cedar logs. My guy was a little disappointed that the room had no television -- in my mind that was the best feature.

Sadly, the weekend had to come to a close and I'm now back in city. Luckily, I don't have to go back to the office for another week. I did some studying early this morning. I had a quick appointment at 11:00 and later I'm visiting the subject of my next restaurant review with my man. Tomorrow I'm going to the dentist, and Wednesday I'm getting a facial. I'm so excited because I've received coupons from my aesthetician ($25), JCP ($15) and DSW ($25) all because of my birthday! This is going to make my shopping excursion on Thursday that much more enjoyable. On Friday I'm going to see a matinee of The Secret Life of Bees and that should pretty much round out the week.

I hope you enjoy yours just as much!

A Day of Firsts

• My daughter's first day of high school
• My son's first checking account that he opened without any assistance from me
• The first time my guy heard me say, "Fine, let's get married tomorrow.