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Will Slow and Steady Win the Race?

About two years ago I created a vision board. It was virtual at first and I posted it here.

And then I later downloaded the pictures and made an actual board. For those of you who don’t feel like clicking over, the board contained 5 things:

*own a little bookstore
*be as fit as any fitness competitor
*visit Italy
*own a home on the beach
*be a successful food writer

I took that board down at the beginning of 2012 and I’m going back and forth about how I feel about it. I mean, I still want all those things but because I’m not actively doing anything to reach those goals, I feel like the board is laughing at me every time I walk by it. My board was making a mockery of me. So I took it down.

I refuse to sit here and make excuses for myself as to why I haven’t done anything to pursue my goals.

I will say this though: I will not count myself out. My best years are ahead of me. Two years is a relatively short period of time and when I created the board I think I actually believed that I could accomplish it all within that timeframe. Now that I think about it, the only way I would have accomplished all five of those things would be if I was given two years to live.

Time is an interesting thing. Sometimes I believe I have plenty of it and then there are moments when it feels like it is just passing me by.

I’ve spent the past two years getting over a breakup. That’s my truth. I haven’t done too much of anything else. All my running has really helped in that area … and I look really good so that’s a plus. But now that I’ve moved forward it is really time to focus. I still want the store and the great body and the house on the beach. I’ll be in Italy before I say goodbye to 2014 and writing about food will always be something that I do. Have you even seen my food blog? Check it out here.

Anyway, the board remains in my head … actually it’s sitting on the dining room table right now because I don’t want to toss it but I don’t want to put it back up either. In its place, I have a few messages for myself that I’d like to share with you:

Changing your life is a journey
You are an excellent woman
All you need is love

Have a wonderful day!

Monday Mid-Morning Movie Demographic

Ever been to a matinee at 10:30 on a Monday morning?

I hadn't either until yesterday.

I thought it would be a good idea to take a few days off after the race so I could decompress. I've been obsessed with this thing for more than two months. I haven't been able to think about anything else and I just really needed a few days to get my mind right.

Since my son is employed at the AMC 18 I am able to see movies free of charge Monday thru Thursday (without him) and on the weekends (with him). I didn't really think that I would talk advantage of it because when would I ever go see a movie during the week? As it turns out, the opportunity presented itself yesterday.

I went to see Bridesmaids at 10:30 on Monday morning and let me just say this: alot of the jokes you see in the previews did not make the film. It was still hilarious and gross and crude and touching and sentimental and I actually shed a tear at the end.

I love to people watch and it causes me to wonder about people's backstories. I'm fascinated by people. I had quite a bit to contemplate while watching the Monday mid-morning movie goers. Like, what is the deal with the "beautiful" couple to my right. They both appeared to spend a fair amount of time at the gym. He was older than her but not in a dirty old man kind of way. She was wearing a dress that would have been more suitable for a night club with cleavage and heels to match. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. If I had to guess, I'd say they were dating for less than a year.

There was another couple to my left who were pretty young and started out with a seat or two between them. I couldn't even tell that they were together. By the time the movie ended they were sitting next to each other.

Then in front of me was a row of stay-at-home moms. They talked non-stop through the coming attractions and I thought for sure I would have to kick someone's seat if they didn't shut up when the movie started. They seemed to be so excited to be out of the house and interacting with adults. They were already planning which movie they would all see next and who they would get to babysit all the kids.

Then there was me. Sitting alone in a movie theater contemplating my next move. What am I going to do next? I like having a goal that I'm working toward. Now that the race is complete and I'm feeling all types of good, what is next? I'm slightly fearful that if I don't keep occupied I'm going to slip back into a rut. I suppose I should have thought about the next thing while I was still working on the first thing.

Anywho, I got up and ran for the first time since the race. First time I ran without pressure. Felt pretty good.

Goals and Dreams

I admire people who set clear, concise, specific goals; develop a plan to achieve those goals; implement said plan and experience success.

It’s a beautiful thing.

I think I can count the number of times when I’ve done that successfully on one hand.

Which explains a lot.

I often dream about doing this or that but dreams are not goals. Dreams don’t require any action and goals do.

I had a goal to write and publish a novel. Achieved.
I have a dream to be a successful food writer.

I had a goal to own my own home. Achieved.
I have a dream to own another home on the beach.

I had a goal to get the job that I currently have. Achieved.
I have a dream to own my own business.

I am content and I think the reason for that is because my over arching goal is to enjoy a happy, peaceful life. And I’m not saying that because I lack ambition or the skills to turn my dreams into goals. Eventually, the dreams may evolve into goals. But I’m not pressed. I have everything I need and most of the things that I really want. I know to the Type A, I sound like a total slacker.

Whatever, man.

I’m thinking about buying a hammock.

Case of the Monday's

Did you see the picture of Jada on the cover of Shape magazine? OMG, talk about motivation. I heart her. Why is it that when I look down at my belly it looks fat but when I look in the mirror or take a picture of it, it looks really good? And why is the 45-degree angle view much more flattering than the side or front views? I’m obsessing.

I don’t know why but I was craving goat cheese this weekend. Is that weird, or what? While I was getting my facial on Saturday we were hit with what seemed like torrential downpours. It was tricky leaving the salon because their daggone parking lot was flooded so my feet got wet as I was going to the car. I was ready to go home after that because I hate wet feet but I still had this ridiculous craving for goat cheese. I almost get to my house and decide to keep driving to the grocery store. I picked up the goat cheese, cracked pepper water crackers and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and went on home. Then I made myself a big salad with grilled chicken, sliced roma tomatoes with basil, my crackers with goat cheese, a glass of wine and I was in heaven.

I really want to punch my son. Thursday was his first day of the fall semester. His History class was at 1:30 and he called me afterward and just loved it. He was really excited. Today, he had an 8:00 English class and he overslept and missed it! Even though he set his alarm and I went into his room before I left the house and told his silly behind not to go back to sleep. I am not happy with him right now. He just sent me a text: Sorry mom. I promise it won’t happen again. And I will pass her class with an A. Her class ends at 9:15, so I didn’t want to show up late and class be halfway through, or be made an example out of. I’m sorry.

I have always had issues with “our” hair salons. So much so, that I don’t patronize them for myself anymore. I do my own hair and I’m quite fine with that. Unfortunately, I have a teenaged daughter and I can’t do her hair to her satisfaction … apparently teenaged girls have higher standards. So for the past three years or so I’ve been sending her to the salon down the street every two weeks. Every two weeks … plus a relaxer every six weeks ... think about those dollars for a minute. Anyway, lately her stylist has been acting kinda funky. I haven’t really paid it any mind until Saturday when I dropped off my child for her 10:00 appointment only to have her call me at 11:30 to let me know that she hadn’t even been shampooed yet and no one in the friggin’ shop even acknowledged her presence or apologized for the delay. I went to pick her up and trust and believe she will not be back! The owner wasn’t there on Saturday but I sent her an email letting her know that she just lost a long standing loyal customer. Customer service, people! Customer service! I found another place and made an appointment so she can get her back-to-school-do done. I explained to the new lady my frustrations regarding time management and hair care vs. hair styles, she assured me that her views differed significantly from the old place. We’ll see. We’ll see.

I’m working on a list of financial (where is all money?), physical (being healthy ain't all about the weight) and spiritual (are you there God? It's me, chele.) goals that I’ll implement on my 45th birthday. I’m an advocate of writing things down but I don’t always follow through. This time has to be different. There are things that I have to accomplish in order to be the person that I really want to be. I often wish I had this mind set when I was 25, but better late than never.

Bryan and I are going back to our beach house in a few weeks for the weekend. One last getaway before the end of the summer. I’m looking forward to it. Then we’re going back up to Virginia wine country in October.

I suppose I should get some real work done. I hope you all enjoy your week.

Philippians 3:14

Reaching for a goal. Pressing toward the mark. Striving for something that is so close you can feel it.

How do you plan to get to where you are going if you always keep one foot in the past?

That’s the question that I asked myself this morning and now I’m asking you. I have a terrible habit of holding grudges like they are worth money and keeping the past fresh in my mind. I replay certain moments in my head over and over again like an old movie. You know how we know the dialogue to The Color Purple (“You shole is ugly!”) and Friday (“You ain’t got to lie Craig!”) and when we repeat these quotes it can be funny as hell. But when you constantly repeat painful instances from the past it’s not funny at all. It’s counterproductive and it holds you (me) back.

I have things to do, places to go and people to see but I know that I’m not going anywhere if I don’t shake loose the memories of the past and keep my eyes forward. Pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Keep looking straight ahead. Let the past stay in the past. Your future is bright.

Good Decisions

Happy Monday. Is that an oxymoron?

I remember hearing once that every decision that I’ve made over the years has led me to where I am right now. So, obviously it makes sense that every decision I make today will determine my situation in the future. If you have a goal it is important that every thing you do and every decision that you make is for the purpose of reaching that goal. To that end, I had a pretty productive weekend. I was able to enjoy a delicious lunch on the water and interview a restaurant manager for an upcoming review. I completed one of two reviews that are due this week. I visited another restaurant that I had previously reviewed and the management let me know that they were very pleased with the article I had written. The weekend felt like one big networking event. And I hate “networking” but I had a great time. Yesterday, I watched the majority of the No Reservations marathon. I know to some people that just sounds like typical couch potato behavior, but it was actually research.

I’ll be posting another review at Delicious! on Wednesday so I’m asking all you local lurkers (and I know you’re out there) to check it out and everyone please go over there and participate in the one-question survey on the right side of the page.

Have a great day and don’t forget to make your decisions count!

Write the Vision

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been through the wringer.

The last 36 hours or so have been a whirlwind of thoughts and activity. I have a vision and when I grab hold of something it, in turn, grabs hold of me and wears me out. My intention was to get up this morning at 5:00 and hit the gym but when I opened my eyes I knew that the gym would have to wait until after work. My head was still spinning. My mind was still swirling with my vision.

The Bible says in Habakkuk 2:2,3: And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

I like that and I know that I have a problem with the waiting part, so isn’t it funny that when I got to work I read this:

Because such a high percentage of our time is spent in the pursuit of goals, we must find a way to enjoy the actual day-to-day, moment-to-moment process of life, instead of waiting for the destinations or end result. When this shift occurs, we will experience not only the satisfaction that comes from a goal successfully completed, but a thousand joys along the way.

So, as I work to birth this vision I will be careful to enjoy each day along the way. I will not get wrapped up in the stress of getting to a final product or the perceived completion date. I will write down the plan and then work that plan.

My Dream Job

I went to sleep last night thinking about my dream job.

I woke naturally this morning at 4:45. I can’t remember the last time that happened but I wasn’t going to fight it. I hopped out of bed and did push-ups. I could only do 16 but they were push-ups nonetheless. I remember the days when I couldn’t do 5, so I was quite pleased. I put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, drank a protein shake, ate a slice of whole grain bread with peanut butter and headed to the gym. This morning I worked my chest, back, biceps, triceps and abs and did twenty-five minutes on the treadmill. I did most of the strength training with free weights instead of the machines and as I look down at my hands now, I see that I’m going to need some gloves because I can feel the calluses beginning to form.

After the workout, I went home and showered and got ready for work. I was sitting at my desk by 7:30. Still thinking about my dream job.

No Reservations is a program on the Travel Channel and it features Anthony Bourdain. Anthony is a 28-year veteran of professional kitchens and a very talented writer. He is a smart ass, which is probably why I enjoy him so much. He travels to beautiful places, eats great food and writes about it. That is my dream job. Last night he was in Saudi Arabia and ate camel. He actually liked it. In another episode he went to Egypt and enjoyed pigeon. Apparently, pigeon is a delicacy that Americans have not caught on to yet. He has also gone to Chicago and enjoyed a meal in a car outside of Calumet Fisheries. It’s not all weird, it’s not all fancy, it's certainly not all glamorous but it is all very interesting and quite entertaining. I love it.

Now, it is not my dream to eat a pigeon. It is, however my dream to have someone pay me ridiculous amounts of money to do something that I am currently doing for free and loving it: eating great food and writing about it.

This is the fetus. It will definitely take more than nine months to birth this baby but this is what I’m working on. I created the cover and inside the binder are the fourteen published restaurant and wine reviews that I’ve completed so far. This keeps me motivated. I did the same thing when I was writing Raymond’s Daughters. I created a book cover and just imagined a finished product. Oh yeah, and I worked my butt off until it was completed. I still don’t have a marketing strategy because I suck at that … but I know it will all come together. So for right now, I’m just working on the writing. I think I can handle that.

The Choice

I'm reading The Choice and I love it just like I love all of Nicholas Sparks' novels. Even if the ending is kind of predictable (I read the last page), it's okay because everything that led up to that point was wonderful. His love stories kill me. They really kill me.

I'm still playing with the idea of writing a restaurant guide. I wrote two reviews yesterday and I have another one to do. The place we went to on date night was really good. It opened up about two months ago and it was surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night. I ordered cabernet chicken and B had the salmon and we were both extremely happy with our choices.

Right now I'm writing a monthly review for a local magazine and the publisher is less interested in good food and more interested in selling advertising. So, even if I hate a place I have to spin it so it sounds good. I don't lie ... I just don't mention the horrible food. I talk about the service, the atmosphere, the drinks, the entertainment blah, blah, blah. My creative ability is astounding. My restaurant guide will not include any place that I don't like. My BIG dream would be to update the book every year and have restaurants just dying to be included. For right now, the goal is to publish the first edition of Date Night in May 2010 because that's the start of the tourist season and by then I'll have at least a year's worth of material to choose from.

Running

It's Wednesday and the third day in a row that me and 5:30 a.m. have greeted each other.


Got up
Read Proverbs 4
Took a shower
Made a pot of coffe
Sat down at the keyboard and wrote until 6:30 when I had to start getting ready for work.


I'm up to 140 pages.


Again, small victories and I know 3 days does not make a habit ... but I'm working on it and it feels good. I was reminded today by a friend that when I wrote the first book I would get up at 4:00 a.m. and write until 6:00. Yeah ... I was a little younger then ... maybe I'll work toward that.

I'll probably start to post updates regularly on Saturday morning. But today's post is about running.

I'm a runner. Not an athletic type of runner -- although I did run track in high school. I wasn't a superstar but I had a good time and I looked really good in the shorts.


No, I'm talking about those of us who make it a habit of running from situations that feel too intense to deal with at the moment. I'm a runner. I admit it. I run from relationships, I run from jobs ... and of course, I always find a way to rationalize it so it doesn't appear that I'm running. I should win an award for my rationalizations.

Seriously.


Since no one in my life will shake me and say "Stay put!" I'm going to do it myself.


What the hell are you running for? Here's a newsflash for you, girlie: you can't escape by running. You will continue to be faced with these same situations until you deal with them and reach some kind of resolution. You're way too old to be running anyway. Ain't you tired?


Yes, I am tired.


I was contacted by two different headhunters in the past five days. Isn't that funny? I mean, right now the satisfaction level at my current place of employement is quite low, so my rationalization is that the calls from the headhunters must be a sign that it's time to go. I've got issues. Leaving one corporate job to go to another one is not my plan.


I'm staying put. No more running away. The bullshit at work, job hunting, spats with my guy are all unnecessary distractions. Enough already. I've got work to do.

Have To

Are you ruled by the "have to" or the "want to"?

Everything in my life is "have to". Everything.

Revelation: I swear if I didn't have two people living with me that depended on me to eat, I would quit my job tomorrow, sell my house, go back to school and major in journalism, and get a job in a bookstore.

Fact: I'm only 43 years old. Since when is 43 the end? I cannot live the next 43 years doing something I hate.

Realization: Just because you're good at something doesn't mean that's what you're supposed to do with the rest of your life. I'm great at what I do and it pays really well ... but guess what? I hate it.

I'm going to do something about this. I have to. It's so easy for me to encourage my guy to strike out on his own and do his own thing, and he's doing it successfully. I'm so proud of him. Telling my son to figure out how to make money doing what he loves, comes naturally. Why haven't I been able to encourage myself in the same fashion?

I say that I want to write ... well, how come I'm not writing everyday? The same way I did when I wrote my first novel? Everyday without fail. I can't remember a time when I was more joyful.

I can't allow another year to slip by like this.

Coming soon: The Plan.