Countdown to Race Day (5)

It would appear that I've lost 2 lbs. But I can't really count this. The first weigh-in was in the evening after a full day of eating. So, we'll see what happens next Sunday morning.

It was a great Sunday. I did 4.5 miles this morning and it was a struggle but I got through it. I did some sprinting drills in order to increase my speed. I really thought I was going to pass out. The rest of the day I spent relaxing.

Today's Meals

Breakfast - power bar, banana
Snack - piece of havarti cheese
Lunch - 5 large cheese ravioli w/sauce
Snack - small plum
Dinner - roasted chicken, asparagus, mashed potatoes, 2 glasses of sauvingon blanc
Dessert - Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich

Today's Workout
Ran 4.5 miles

Countdown to Race Day (4)

Today's Meals

I inadvertently went all vegetarian today. Imagine that ...

Pre-run fuel - power bar
After run snack - nectarine
Snack - 11 pita crisps with roasted red pepper hummus
Lunch - Chef salad w/greens, 2 hard cooked eggs, dried cranberries, golden raisins, kalamata olives, croutons and greek viniagrette dressing
Dinner - I swiped this recipe from the BGR! site. Orzo, pine nuts and spinach. It was okay. Probably won't be making it again. But now what am I supposed to do with all these pine nuts?
Dessert - Skinny Cow chocolate truffle ice cream bar

Today's workout:
Ran 2.25 miles

Countdown to Race Day (2)

Today's Meals

Breakfast - power bar, banana, green tea

Snack - 6 Reduced fat townhouse crackers

Lunch - Leftovers from last night's dinner, chicken breast w/olives, raisins and spinach rice

Snack - 1 small plum

Not Really Dinner - 1 piece of flatbread with hummus, havarti cheese, 2 hot wings, grilled veggies, glass of red wine

Water all day

Today's Workout
Ran 2.15 miles

Food Remorse

Confession: I have very little self-control when it comes to food.

Last night I was at a get-together with friends and as most friends do at get-togethers, we ate. That was the purpose of us getting together. And when I say, “we ate”, I mean we really ate. I had ribs (two servings), chicken, grilled vegetables, Greek salad, Frito corn salad (two servings) and a piece of chocolate pie.

When I woke up this morning I was either still full or feeling too guilty to eat. I had a banana and now I’m sipping on some green tea. And I missed my regular sunrise run at 5:30.

Sometimes I just want to kick myself. Every single day I look at my abs and curse myself for not working harder and yet I sit down to a meal that further sabotages me.

Seriously, who does that???

I have been consistently running 3-4 times a week, every week but the scale doesn’t move and I know it’s because I can’t stop stuffing my face. The only reason I don’t gain weight is because of the running but I have got to do more, Man!

There’s a race on August 20th that I thought about running but after my lack of success in my last run I was hesitant to sign up. Who needs the pressure? I could feel myself falling back into my usual complacency. Well, this morning I signed up. I am going to revamp my diet, add serious core training to my workouts, drop 5 lbs and kick this race’s ass.

A while back I participated in a weight loss challenge and lost 5 lbs in 30 days. I was exercising but it was all about the diet. I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

I cannot continue to do the same things over and over again and expect different results. What’s that called, again? Oh yeah … INSANITY.

So, for the next month, you guys are going to keep me accountable whether you want to or not. I'll be posting my weight, what I'm eating and my workouts up until race day.

Enough is enough.

Racing on the 4th of July

For your viewing pleasure.

I was glad that my daughter was there to video the race for me. But watching myself is not the prettiest of sights. All I see is bad form. On most days, I don't feel my age but watching this video I feel every single one of those years.

Whatever. The fact is, I'm happiest when I'm running. Imperfect form and all.

Just gives me something to work on.

See you at the next race.

A Success Story

Updated: Time: 35:03 / Pace: 11:17



Before I left for DC I prepared a post describing how I felt (would feel) after the race. I had to ditch that post because there was no way that I could accurately capture how I felt at the starting line and the finish line and the moments that immediately followed. I still don’t know if I can but I’m going to give it a shot.

Twenty-four hours ago, at 6:30 a.m., I was walking toward the National Mall in our nation’s capitol preparing to join the other 40,000 participants in the Susan G. Komen 5k Race for the Cure. Some of the participants were there in memory of someone they lost, some were running/walking for someone who was still fighting the fight and some were survivors of this horrible disease. Me? I was there to run a 5k because I had something to prove to myself. I understand the overarching reason for this gathering. I raised money for the cause and , by the way, 75% of the money raised will stay local to help those in need. So, it’s not like I ran and didn’t give a sh*t.

Anyway, I’d just like to say that this is absolutely the coolest thing that I have ever done. The coolest. This is one time that I can remember tackling something hard, sticking with it and completing it. Completing it all the way to the end. You see, in my lifetime I have a history of leaving things that are just too difficult: bad marriages, jobs, churches, etc. I’m sad to say that it’s a pretty long list. I’m not wired to stick. I’m wired to leave. Not a trait that I am proud of.

The thing is, I like to be comfortable. I like to smile and I like to feel good. Difficult things are not usually part of being comfortable.

So why did I run this race? For two reasons: someone told me that I could and I foolishly believed them. That’s it. A friend of mine casually suggested that I run the race with her. I said I couldn’t and she said I could. After all, I was already running three miles on the treadmill, wasn’t I? Why yes, yes I was.

So, I took my self-confident azz home and logged on to the SGK website and signed up to be part of the Fit and Fabulous Team and announced to anyone that would listen that I was going to run a 5k.

I did all this before I ran my first step outside. In case you didn’t know … running on a treadmill will not prepare you to run an outdoor race. Running on the treadmill convinced me that I could run a race but I soon discovered I had a lot of work to do.

I documented some of the training here but as it became more difficult (not easier) I had to basically shut down the blog because I just couldn’t concentrate on anything else except running. I downloaded the Couch-to-5k (C25K) program to my blackberry and I was running at least three times a week outside. Rain or shine. Whether I felt like it or not. There was no way that I was not going to finish this race. I wasn’t so much concerned with time as I was with running the entire three miles. No walk breaks. I had to start running and finish running.

Difficult? Uh yes, it was difficult. Did I think about quitting? Not once. I had something to prove. Not to anyone else. But to myself. I needed to do this and quitting was not an option. No one would have thought any less of me but I would have felt awful. More than awful. So I continued training.

As the weeks wore on and the temperature began to rise, I switched my runs to the mornings. Each week I was adding distance to my runs and I was feeling really good about myself. Let me rephrase: mentally, I was feeling really good; physically, I felt my body wearing down. I’m not a young woman and each mile reminded me of that. Running is hard on the knees and hard on the back. It’s funny, I was never even aware of my knees until I started running. On the upside, my legs look great and my butt has never been higher or tighter. Yeah, so there’s that.

Race Day.





The C25K program is 9 weeks long. During this time my father died and I lost a week of training. So, I trained for a solid two months and by Race Day I had successfully run three miles twice -- no stopping. It was a great feeling. I was ready.

The original plan was for my daughter to accompany me to cheer me on. Also a blogging buddy of mine said she would fly in as well. As luck would have it, my daughter ended up having to work and my buddy experienced airline challenges and couldn’t make the trip. I had the members of my team but for the most part I was alone. I mean, half of my team members walked the race and the other half chose to start with the 12-minute milers while I ran with the 10-minute milers. I get that running is a solitary sport but I really had to fight the urge to feel sorry for myself. Another great accomplishment and I was experiencing it alone.

The days leading up to Race Day and the day itself were very emotional. I can’t even explain it. I would find myself, sitting at my desk tearing up whenever I would think about the race. Crazy. When I met up with my team captain, she hugged me and all I could do was cry. She was so cool though. She talked me through it as she put on my race bib. She understood as she has gone through the exact same thing. I was about to experience the result of 8 weeks of really hard work. I didn’t quit. I didn’t walk away. I stuck. I changed my wiring. I was about to do something that I had never done before.

The race itself was interesting. When you are used to running alone on an empty track it’s a little challenging to be surrounded by so many people. People who are walking, people who are stopping right in front of you … I had to swerve and slow down and speed up … it was getting to be a pain. Each time I would choose someone in front of me as a pacer … they would decide it was time for them to walk. Then I’d have to pass them and choose someone else. Sometime during the race I heard someone behind me say, “We’re almost half way there.” Almost …. Half …. Way …. There??? What the hell, dude. Almost half way? I had to tune these jokers out and concentrate on my music because “almost half way” is not what I needed to hear. Finally, when I saw the 2-mile marker I smiled. Just like at home, I said to myself, “You finished two, you can do one more.” I kept going and kept going and the finish line was in my sight. I was really going to do the damn thing.

And I did.

I crossed the finish line and I heard the volunteers on the sidelines screaming and shouting and cheering. It was amazing. I was overwhelmed but there were no more tears. Just a huge sense of relief and accomplishment. I sent a text to my mom, kids, sister and best friend to let them know that I had finished. Yes, I posted it on FB as well. The “congratulations” began to pour in. My daughter told me before I left how proud she was of me and she indicated the same afterward. My son was glad that I didn’t come in last.

I don’t have my official time yet. I’ve been camped out on the website waiting for the results. I’ll update this post as soon as I can. I didn’t plan on doing another 5k. Once was really enough. But depending on my time, I may have to. The original goal was to do it in less than 30 minutes. Then I changed it to 30 minutes or less … at the end I just wanted to run the entire time. Truth be told, I really want to do a sub-30 race. Also, my sister will be running a race of her own and I sort of promised that I’d run with her. And I am a woman of my word.

Today I feel good. Achy and sore but good. I’m wondering what is next. I’ve taken a huge step this weekend by doing the hard thing. I was free at any time to quit and walk away. I could have walked during the run and no one would have been the wiser. Even during the training, I could have walked. Who would’ve known, after all? Me. That’s who. So, what’s next? I don’t know right now but I’ve gotta tell you, I’m feeling pretty strong right now. Invincible even. I can do the hard things and I can be successful. I may not know what the next thing will be, but I’m ready for it. Bring it on.

Countdown to Race Day!!

Maintain Optimism While Learning Patience

This morning’s run: 2.5 miles in 28 minutes. Not bad but I really need to increase my speed if I want to reach my goal of finishing the 5k in 30 minutes. The race is in 10 days. Hope springs eternal.

I have learned the greatest lesson in patience during this process. Putting one foot in front of the other is the only way to get to the finish line. There are no shortcuts. I’ve searched for shortcuts my whole life. Going through the process is not something that I find attractive. I need to be gratified instantly.

Want to learn patience? Train for a 5k.

I’ll admit that going through it is not always fun but when you get closer to the goal, the excitement builds and all you can think about is victory. This concept applies to many aspects of my life.

I didn’t know how I was going to get over my ex. The break up was long and drawn out and I really just wanted to wake up one day and be “on with my life”. Why doesn’t it work that way? I suppose if it were that easy then there would be no lesson. I think I finally have it figured out though. That relationship is in the past and I’m getting closer to being in a place where I’m ready to try again. Close but not quite there, as evidenced by yesterday’s post. I’m open to the idea which is definitely better than where I was a year ago. Last year I told myself that if I’m supposed to be alone for the rest of my life than so be it. This year? Not so much. We’re not built to walk through this life alone. That’s funny because for almost 30 years I have been trying to prove that I could go it alone. I have wasted so much time. But I suppose it’s not too late. Where am I in the process? Well, one thing I know that I definitely need to deal with is controlling my emotions. That is huge and I never wanted to admit how emotional I am but I am. It’s crazy how easy it is for me to “catch feelings”. It’s my downfall. I don’t want to deny my emotions and I refuse to turn into an emotionless shrew, but I am determined to be a bit more logical in my decision-making.

What else?

Once this race is completed I’ll need another goal to pursue. I have to keep setting these goals in order to challenge myself. I have no earthly idea why I feel like I need to challenge myself. Part of me really just wants to float through life carefree and oblivious to all that goes on around me. But I wouldn’t be fulfilled and I know it.

I’m beginning to ramble so this is probably a good place to end this post. I listened to this song this morning as I was completing the 2.5 miles. Great song for the end of a run … “you can win as long as you keep your head to the sky”

Week 2 Day 2 Update

Jog Now ... Walk Now (Week 1, Day 2)

I may look evil in this picture but believe me when I tell you I was happy to be out there.

It's been raining for the past two days and it's been cold. But it wasn't too cold for me to stay with the program.

Yes, I'm wearing ear muffs.

My obsessive personality is beginning to show. My biggest fear is that I get to DC and I'm the last person to stumble across the finish line. I know how irrational that is. But still ...

C25K (Couch to 5K)

I'm hardly a couch potato but on the advice of my running mentor, I downloaded the C25K app to my blackberry.

Best thing ever.

I love it because this woman on the program tells me when to job and when to walk. I’m told that running intervals will help me to build my endurance.

Yesterday after work I started and while the first workout was relatively easy, I am still going to follow the plan in order to build up to where I need to be by June 4th.

Week 1, Day 1

Level of Difficulty: Easy
Miles: ?
Time: ?

I forgot to put on my pedometer.

Redemption on the Track

I thought about this run all day long. I had the feeling that I was becoming obsessed. In my mind, I had something to prove to myself. In reality I’m sure I had nothing to prove but the gnawing feeling would not go away. I worked all day thinking, “I’ve got to do better than yesterday.” To my surprise I received a performance award at work which came with a pretty substantial cash component. Unfortunately, my perceived inability to run outside for a period of time overshadowed the joy of that moment.

When 4:30 finally arrived I got in my car and headed home. Once I arrived I went upstairs and traded my four-inch heels for my running shoes. It was warm outside so I grabbed a pair of shorts and a breathable t-shirt and I began to stretch. My daughter was watching “She’s Out of Your League” on HBO and I decided to join her while I waited for 6:00. The distraction was welcomed. I asked my daughter to come with me to cheer me on. She says, “Mom, I can’t run!” I respond, “You don’t have to run. I’m going to the track so you can just sit in the bleachers.” No response. Bummer.

Once the movie was over and I was done stretching I took a deep breath and headed to the school. The walk over would serve as my warm-up. Once I arrived I noticed a few people but nothing to hinder me. I put my headphones in and began to listen to Jennifer Hudson, said a quick prayer and started my run. Slow and easy. One time around and all is well. Second time around and I’m feeling pretty good. I start the third lap and I feel a cramp in my right side. I tried to run through it but my body was screaming for me to slow down. So I walked as I held my side. Praying the entire time. Telling myself, “You can get through this, you can get through this.” Third lap is complete and at the beginning of the fourth I began to run again. The pain from the cramp is gone and I’m slightly picking up my pace and I notice a familiar figure sitting in the bleachers. It’s my daughter. As I ran by her I smiled and said, “You are my favorite daughter.” She just rolled her eyes. As I begin my fifth lap I’m realizing that the longer I’m out there the easier it seems. I thought that cramp was going to take me out. Fifth lap complete and I walk at the beginning of the sixth lap but half way around I realize that I felt good enough to run, so I did. At the end of the sixth lap I felt like I could have continued but the sun was setting and my daughter looked like she was getting chilly and I didn’t want to overdo it.

I accomplished what I set out to accomplish. I did better than yesterday.

Notes on the First Outdoor Run

My mood: Down but not defeated

I did my first outdoor run yesterday and I went into it knowing that it would be difficult. And it was. The treadmill has successfully given me a false sense of security and after the run I was asking myself, “What have I gotten myself into?”

The problem is the treadmill controls my pace. While out on the open road, I have to control the pace and if I start out too quickly I’ll tire out quickly. Controlling my pace is harder than actually running. The plan was to run at the track next door but the students were occupying it and I couldn’t wait for them to leave so I went out into the neighborhood. I had one route in mind but once I got started I realized I had bitten off more than I could chew. I cut the run short. The good news: I ran the entire time. No walking. It was maybe a half mile.

I can do this. I have to do this. Here’s something you should know about me: once I say I’m going to do something … I do it. I said I was going to lose 5 pounds in September and I did it. I may have gained it back but I did what I said I was going to do. Last March I said I was giving up meat for the month and I did it. Those were the worst 31 days of my entire life but I did what I said I was going to do. My word is everything is to me. What do you have if you don’t have your word?

So, I’m going to do this. Tonight I’m going to wait until the students get off the track (probably around 6:00) and I’m going to do this run again. And I will have better results than I did yesterday.

And that is me encouraging myself. Feel free to jump in …

Have a great day.

In Case You Missed It ...

There was a big announcement over the weekend and in case you missed it:

I registered to run in the Susan G. Komen 5k Race for the Cure!

(watch the video to the right for full details)

I've never run a race before. Well, except in high school but that was a million years ago. I'm very excited and a little terrified. I can do the distance, I'm not worried about that. It's just that this is totally out of my comfort zone. But when it was suggested to me, I was like ... why not? I couldn't think of one reason why I shouldn't. So here I go ...

I'm not used to running outside so this week begins my outdoor training.

Wish me luck, say a prayer, send good vibes, etc.